I didn't know Colin was from Helena - I spent my freshman year of college at Carroll. I was called to Montana to pursue a degree I couldn't get anywhere else (anthrozoology, if you're wondering) but it turns out I wasn't ready to leave San Diego yet. All the good things about Montana were invisible to me because of how depressed and desperately homesick I was. I transferred, but went back a few weeks before I started my senior year, to visit friends. For the first time, I got to experience Montana for all she is - without the veil of darkness and pain that surrounded me before.
All of this to say, I regret nothing of my journey, and now that I'm grown and have been away from San Diego for a few years now, I'd love to spend some more time in Montana someday. Thank you for sharing your beautiful trip in such a sweet way.
Aw. Thanks for this story. I had a similar experience in Minneapolis, a nice city that I can't manage to like at all because of where I was at when I briefly lived there. Decades have gone by and I still don't like it.
Thank you for this tale. I love this connection to lands/places that just seem to be instilled in people sometimes. You didn’t just happen to end up in Montana, it called you there. That’s what Colorado does to me, an east coast beach girl. Mountain magic is a real thing.
Aug 9, 2023·edited Aug 9, 2023Liked by Carson Ellis
I took a pause to read this in between packing boxes for our upcoming move from NYC to Montana. How serendipitous.
I’m feeling so fortunate to be moving to a place I believe will prove to be my spiritual home, after years of city-hopping and feeling some serious fish-out-of-water syndrome. I’m marrying into a Montana family – our wedding is next June in Missoula – and just couldn’t feel luckier.
I empathize with the complication that location brings or relieves. I hope you’re able to find your way back someday if it’s what feels right.
as a missoulian also living in the pnw, this hits so close to home. something about sage brush and the big wild sky… i breathe differently in montana. glad you got the chance to make the journey. <3
So beautifully and tenderly written, it brought me to tears. Very relatable feelings and yes, life is complicated ♥️ Thank you for sharing and for making me think of my spiritual home. I hope you get to go back to Montana soon.
Love this! I was so happy to have an excuse to visit Montana for both years of Traveler’s Rest Festival and miss it often since then. It does have a way of getting inside you, even after brief visits.
I had to think so hard to even decide IF I have a spiritual home. I've moved two dozen times, including a move to Australia for three years, during my forty-mumble-mumble years. So...maybe my spiritual home is just a very heavy moving box. :)
Having said that, if I had to pick one place--I've always felt like Pittsburgh, PA and I "got" each other. I'm all about good bones and grit, perogies, cloudy days and art, and that city has it all in spades. I'll never forget how I felt taking the 28x bus from the airport, returning from my first Thanksgiving break. We pulled out of a tunnel and onto a bridge, and there was this huge rainbow, and I could see the city fast approaching, with the three rivers, glittering and choppy, below. I teared up then, too. It felt like a banquet set before a very hungry girl. So I "get" your Montana love and how it must have felt to say (if only temporarily) good-bye.
I'm sorry. That really sucks.
Hey Carson, so wonderful to read this. Glad you had a good trip to MT. Can't agree more, it's complicated!
So complicated ❤️
Oof. I feel this so much. Having a deep connection to a landscape(s) that you no longer live in is soo bittersweet.
Your best post yet. Thanks for this gorgeously rendered, deeply felt piece.
Thanks. :)
Beautiful write up. There’s no place like home ❤️
I didn't know Colin was from Helena - I spent my freshman year of college at Carroll. I was called to Montana to pursue a degree I couldn't get anywhere else (anthrozoology, if you're wondering) but it turns out I wasn't ready to leave San Diego yet. All the good things about Montana were invisible to me because of how depressed and desperately homesick I was. I transferred, but went back a few weeks before I started my senior year, to visit friends. For the first time, I got to experience Montana for all she is - without the veil of darkness and pain that surrounded me before.
All of this to say, I regret nothing of my journey, and now that I'm grown and have been away from San Diego for a few years now, I'd love to spend some more time in Montana someday. Thank you for sharing your beautiful trip in such a sweet way.
Aw. Thanks for this story. I had a similar experience in Minneapolis, a nice city that I can't manage to like at all because of where I was at when I briefly lived there. Decades have gone by and I still don't like it.
Thank you for this tale. I love this connection to lands/places that just seem to be instilled in people sometimes. You didn’t just happen to end up in Montana, it called you there. That’s what Colorado does to me, an east coast beach girl. Mountain magic is a real thing.
Same!
I took a pause to read this in between packing boxes for our upcoming move from NYC to Montana. How serendipitous.
I’m feeling so fortunate to be moving to a place I believe will prove to be my spiritual home, after years of city-hopping and feeling some serious fish-out-of-water syndrome. I’m marrying into a Montana family – our wedding is next June in Missoula – and just couldn’t feel luckier.
I empathize with the complication that location brings or relieves. I hope you’re able to find your way back someday if it’s what feels right.
Kismet! I'm jealous but I'm happy for you.
Let us hope you don't bring New York values here. The reason it is great is because we don't cotton to liberal stupidity. Except Missoula.
as a missoulian also living in the pnw, this hits so close to home. something about sage brush and the big wild sky… i breathe differently in montana. glad you got the chance to make the journey. <3
❤️
1) This really spoke to me. I have a similar gravity well for the soul and I'm thinking, now I'm almost 50, maybe it's time I listened to that.
2) Um Hank was a TOTAL SMOKESHOW
Total smokeshow. I think we can all agree that we are all in love with my husband's dead great uncle.
Low key want to write about him lol
Me too. I did start an illustrated project about him a few years ago but I didn't get far.
Go on...lol
Isn’t “My husband’s dead great uncle” a line from one of Colin’s songs?... If not I t should be.
Agreed
So beautifully and tenderly written, it brought me to tears. Very relatable feelings and yes, life is complicated ♥️ Thank you for sharing and for making me think of my spiritual home. I hope you get to go back to Montana soon.
TRULY smoldering! Zowie!
Oh this! Just got back from my childhood home and am feeling this hard.
Also, Damn! Uncle Hank! (also what a great horse bowl)
also, whoa! That clip of Proclamation 2537 in the post office display!
Leave it to you catch that! I didn't know what it meant and I just googled it. Whoa!
Love this so much, Carson, it's so beautifully written and felt. LOVED being there with you after so long. xxoo
Back at you. Love you so much and Ian too. So stoked, as always, to have landed in your family. <3
Love this! I was so happy to have an excuse to visit Montana for both years of Traveler’s Rest Festival and miss it often since then. It does have a way of getting inside you, even after brief visits.
I had to think so hard to even decide IF I have a spiritual home. I've moved two dozen times, including a move to Australia for three years, during my forty-mumble-mumble years. So...maybe my spiritual home is just a very heavy moving box. :)
Having said that, if I had to pick one place--I've always felt like Pittsburgh, PA and I "got" each other. I'm all about good bones and grit, perogies, cloudy days and art, and that city has it all in spades. I'll never forget how I felt taking the 28x bus from the airport, returning from my first Thanksgiving break. We pulled out of a tunnel and onto a bridge, and there was this huge rainbow, and I could see the city fast approaching, with the three rivers, glittering and choppy, below. I teared up then, too. It felt like a banquet set before a very hungry girl. So I "get" your Montana love and how it must have felt to say (if only temporarily) good-bye.
I like the idea that your spiritual home might be perpetual motion. That's pretty cool.