I once watched this Soviet film called Ivan's Childhood. It's a black and white Soviet film about ww2 and it certainly interesting. I watched a bunch of Soviet movies back in 2020 because i had unlimited time to study russian.
Even with that first paragraph crisis, I read this fully understanding what you were referring to—stopped by the Machine Shop first, so your project was a known variable. Ha!
It's like how I'll start conversations mid-context with people when really the only person who knows what I'm talking about is my spouse. Consciousness-sharing. We finish each other's sandwiches.
“I miss this old life, free of responsibilities and iPhones and populated by people I mostly lost track of decades ago. I don’t want to go back in time - to re-live this era of my life that was hard in a lot of ways. But the longing I feel while I illustrate this journal is acute. I’m nostalgic.“
Whew, I feel this in a lot of ways. I have a hard time pulling myself out of this funk when I get into it. Hope you’re feeling okay and not too… funky about it. Looking forward to the finished creation!
It's okay! I'm settling into it. I think it's cathartic. It's kind of shocking that this much time has passed and I'm truly this much older, but it's really tender to spend so much time with my 25 year old self.
oak street times, so many different tiny eras and scenes fostered within! I was so envious when you all were there, then years later finally got my chance. was just thinking yesterday about my decade loading crates of records onto and off of that elevator for gigs. and what a bummer it was to occasionally come back tired from djing and find it non-operational. so excited for this book! - shayla
Shayla! I rewatched Don’t Move Here recently and was missing you. Remember when we briefly had that amateur historian club and we took walks in Forest Park and talked about history? The Oak Street days seemed like a lifetime ago THEN, and that was a million years ago. So many lifetimes!
No way! I drew this from a photo of myself wrestling on a futon with a woman whose name I can’t remember and I do remember making a drawing of that photo many, many years ago. I used the photo as reference for a scene from my journal where I’m wrestling on a futon with a dude named Andrew. I guess I did a lot of wrestling on futons back then.
Just reading the song titles of your playlist took me back 20 years in 20 seconds. Thanks for sharing. I'm going to have a listen and probably a cry too. Really looking forward to this book.
Mar 13, 2023·edited Mar 13, 2023Liked by Carson Ellis
Only tangentially related, but you mentioned Colin writing a song for a silent film. Have you seen Peau de pêche? It's a lost masterwork by Marie Epstein from 1929, and a friend of mine single-handedly scored the entire thing complete with foley work (!!!!). If you're familiar with Church of Film in Portland, they screened it last year.
I am slightly haunted by the painting of the wrestlers... the position of the bodies, your red hair, his chain, the futon, the bottles of Heineken beer, the cigarette butts, the sole of his sneaker....
So I will be intrigued by how you will weave together images like this one and the words you will choose to accompany them. A very personal project.
I think it's so human to feel that longing you mention for things passed, even if those times were not easy, or pleasant, or better than the present. I'm a nostalgic person myself and am at a time in my life when nothing feels certain, where I'm questioning every choice I've made over the last 2 years (except for dating my current partner), and where I'm just begging for some sort of comfort and familiarity. So, your post is welcomed and resonating.
I'm an expat, a foreigner in a land I now call home and when I get nostalgic, I go deeeeeep. And even though I don't share any of your specific memories, I certainly feel the pang of remembering another life that seemed to belong to another person and all the beauty and loss that that entails. There is something sadly nice about having a good cry over an old playlist and photos of people whose names I may have forgotten. Thank you for this.
I once watched this Soviet film called Ivan's Childhood. It's a black and white Soviet film about ww2 and it certainly interesting. I watched a bunch of Soviet movies back in 2020 because i had unlimited time to study russian.
Even with that first paragraph crisis, I read this fully understanding what you were referring to—stopped by the Machine Shop first, so your project was a known variable. Ha!
It's like how I'll start conversations mid-context with people when really the only person who knows what I'm talking about is my spouse. Consciousness-sharing. We finish each other's sandwiches.
“I miss this old life, free of responsibilities and iPhones and populated by people I mostly lost track of decades ago. I don’t want to go back in time - to re-live this era of my life that was hard in a lot of ways. But the longing I feel while I illustrate this journal is acute. I’m nostalgic.“
Whew, I feel this in a lot of ways. I have a hard time pulling myself out of this funk when I get into it. Hope you’re feeling okay and not too… funky about it. Looking forward to the finished creation!
It's okay! I'm settling into it. I think it's cathartic. It's kind of shocking that this much time has passed and I'm truly this much older, but it's really tender to spend so much time with my 25 year old self.
That is one crazy film!
oak street times, so many different tiny eras and scenes fostered within! I was so envious when you all were there, then years later finally got my chance. was just thinking yesterday about my decade loading crates of records onto and off of that elevator for gigs. and what a bummer it was to occasionally come back tired from djing and find it non-operational. so excited for this book! - shayla
Shayla! I rewatched Don’t Move Here recently and was missing you. Remember when we briefly had that amateur historian club and we took walks in Forest Park and talked about history? The Oak Street days seemed like a lifetime ago THEN, and that was a million years ago. So many lifetimes!
so many lifetimes! I'll be back in the pnw this summer, maybe the stars can align for second club meeting ,9 yrs later
I’d love that.
I have a pencil drawing from you of people wrestling somewhere that reminds me of this painting. Now to trudge threw the archives and find it
No way! I drew this from a photo of myself wrestling on a futon with a woman whose name I can’t remember and I do remember making a drawing of that photo many, many years ago. I used the photo as reference for a scene from my journal where I’m wrestling on a futon with a dude named Andrew. I guess I did a lot of wrestling on futons back then.
I'll search threw my files and send it along if I can find it. As soon as I saw it memories started to trigger.
This playlist is so awesome! Thanks for sharing!
You're welcome!
Just reading the song titles of your playlist took me back 20 years in 20 seconds. Thanks for sharing. I'm going to have a listen and probably a cry too. Really looking forward to this book.
It's the music that really wrecks me.
Love this playlist
Thank you for sharing the playlist, I am hooked!
Only tangentially related, but you mentioned Colin writing a song for a silent film. Have you seen Peau de pêche? It's a lost masterwork by Marie Epstein from 1929, and a friend of mine single-handedly scored the entire thing complete with foley work (!!!!). If you're familiar with Church of Film in Portland, they screened it last year.
https://youtu.be/JeXl7UpL8TE
Neat!
I am slightly haunted by the painting of the wrestlers... the position of the bodies, your red hair, his chain, the futon, the bottles of Heineken beer, the cigarette butts, the sole of his sneaker....
So I will be intrigued by how you will weave together images like this one and the words you will choose to accompany them. A very personal project.
I think it's so human to feel that longing you mention for things passed, even if those times were not easy, or pleasant, or better than the present. I'm a nostalgic person myself and am at a time in my life when nothing feels certain, where I'm questioning every choice I've made over the last 2 years (except for dating my current partner), and where I'm just begging for some sort of comfort and familiarity. So, your post is welcomed and resonating.
I'm an expat, a foreigner in a land I now call home and when I get nostalgic, I go deeeeeep. And even though I don't share any of your specific memories, I certainly feel the pang of remembering another life that seemed to belong to another person and all the beauty and loss that that entails. There is something sadly nice about having a good cry over an old playlist and photos of people whose names I may have forgotten. Thank you for this.