Retail Therapy

wine therapy, Duolingo therapy

Hi Slowpokes. It’s been a minute.

Colin just got back from a month on the road. It was a little rough. I don’t begrudge him his touring: it’s his job, was his job before we had kids, was part of the deal from the beginning. Also, I don’t want to keep him from it. He’s great at what he does; he floors me every time he steps onstage. It’s part of why I fell in love with him and decided to have the kids with him who are hard to parent alone for a month while he is off being amazing. An unsolvable riddle of my marriage.

off being amazing, photo by Jason Quigley

So it’s his calling and in no small part how we pay the bills. It’s probably more accurate to say that I try not to begrudge Colin his touring, and most of the time I manage not to. But this was an onerous month. I was laid a bit low by some difficult family stuff, and keeping up with the daily work of caring for these kids, this house, these animals, and this farm was hard. I should’ve hired someone to help me out, but I figured my kids were older now and I’d be fine on my own. I was not totally right. Also, I missed having my dude around. It was lonely.

How did I cope, you ask? Well, I spent my spare time in bed learning Swedish on my phone. (Currently #3 in the Duolingo diamond league, tack så mycket.) I also bought stuff, which cheers me up. There is obviously plenty to unpack when it comes to “retail therapy.” Is it therapeutic? Is Duolingo also therapy? Is wine therapy? But let’s not analyze it today. Let’s just see what I bought.

TWO FLY SWATTERS

A 25 DOLLAR DRESS

Don’t @ me. I dropped Colin at the tour bus in the parking lot of the Wilsonville Target, walked right inside, and bought this dress. Also two fly swatters.

ANOTHER RICHARD BRAUTIGAN BOOK

AN 850 PAGE BIOGRAPHY OF RICHARD BRAUTIGAN THAT MY FRIEND RECOMMENDED

He told me to read it like the I Ching.

A GREEN SEERSUCKER DRESS FOR MAC’S 40th BIRTHDAY SURPRISE PARTY

I left my kids with my mother-in-law, flew to the Bay Area, partied for all I am worth, woke up the next day, and flew home. Happy birthday, Mac! Surprise!

ACTUALLY I BOUGHT TWO PARTY DRESSES

I promised myself I’d only keep one, so I sent this back. It’s okay. It looked kind of ridiculous on me.

A SHINY SHELL

Milo and I watched all of Gravity Falls this summer. Afterwards, I took my kids to Marsh’s Free Museum, because it felt akin to The Mystery Shack. Hank walked in and declared it boring. Milo seemed overwhelmed. I bought a shiny shell.

TRAMP ART FRAME

I found this on Etsy, searching for a frame for a George Wilson painting I bought last winter. Do you know about tramp art?

ANOTHER FRAME I FOUND ON ETSY

I was not searching for this frame, but it found me. Of all the therapies - retail, wine, Duolingo - I consider Etsy therapy the most valid.

METALHEAD WIG

I got this for Hank so he can join the army of Eddie Munsons that are sure to be at Rose City Comic Con this year. I will be there too, perhaps dressed as Pippi Longstocking. Jag älskar Pippi.

A NEW BACKPACK

I finally replaced the Dana Design pack I’ve had since 1993. I don’t really backpack enough for a new pack but the waterproofing on the inside pockets of my old one was turning into a sticky paste so I had a good excuse. I’m breaking this in on Mt. Hood this weekend.

I hope you enjoyed my visual poem about consumerism and barely managing. For what it’s worth, I’m feeling a lot better.

Hallelujah och hej då!
Carson

P.S. I bought one more dress but it hasn’t arrived yet. If it’s nice, I’ll wear it to the Cedar Hills Powell’s, where Colin and I will be “in conversation” on September 13th. He’s got a new book coming out. You’re all invited.